a very crazy rant

 i find it weird how common it is for older men to have high confidence in getting with younger girls. yes i am 19, but i look like a 15 year old, and i've had dudes in their late 20s, or just in their 20s, always older than 23, like, try to hit on me. and online im assuming 40 year olds. why is that? i'm so confused? im convinced men want to fuck a mcdonalds happy meal at this point. it's kinda annoying me. i have the personality of a really annoying dude, too. so i feel like they should just confront themselves and be like yes im gay! but then i forget im a girl, i forget i look like a girl, i forget all that. i really just feel like a dude. so when a lot of dudes approach me i see it in a oh yeah lets be friends way but apparently its just because im a girl. i'm not stupid, i know what they're doing. it's annoying me a lot. i'm really not to be messed with or disrespected. i'm a highly intelligent person and i act stupid sometimes on purpose because i want people to fuck off. i will never and i mean NEVER in my life will act more grown than i am. i will do grown people things as i am approaching my 20s obviously, but i will always act childish. because that's just who i am. i'm autistic. so i come off as childish. but i also do it because it's on purpose and i want people to fuck off.

and because i feel that my personality is so manly stereotypically, i don't care enough about this stuff happening because i already assume these men who do this are stupid as shit. no brain. theyre so obsessed with how they look, it's looking gay! so gay. a man having a crush on me is the gayest thing ever. 

fuck! i don't even know what else to say. i'm just not into dating. but in real life so many older dudes won't fuck off. i have autism. me being autistic means i'm undateable; im incapable of having a serious relationship until i reach the age of 30.

that may be a lie though, because i will be fully committed to another person who's just like me. but regardless of if somebody's autistic or not- those same older men are also incapable of being dated? that's why they're still single at their big age. so i'm kinda like that, i embody that, so a man having a crush on me is gay. i'd advise you date an actual man and not a girl with the attitude of a dude.

now the question that begs the audience... am i interested in dating at the moment?

no. dating is a curse lowkey. too many people are unserious, including me. that stuff just makes me cringe. i don't like dating at all. cringiest thing ever. if somebody wants me, they better put a ring on it! i don't do dating. yes i'm a party pooper blah blah who gives a shit? i'm trying to get into my career the last thing i need is a corny relationship. all the people i dated are literal cornballs that i would bully now cause they're so mentally ill in a bad way it's crazy.

this isn't me being like oh mental health is fake, oh mental health is not serious; i'm talking about the people that are mentally ill but purposefully choose to not get better. so they just waste everybody's time. i'm like the most mentally insane person out there to anybody knows me personally but hey i managed it! because i'm a good person. mental health doesn't excuse you being a shit person. it can excuse being late to washing your dishes and not cleaning ur room on time, but other than that nah. mental health is just something that makes your brain function differently. not something that makes your brain function evil. 

it's like theres a republican old man stuck inside my brain by the way im speaking i'm sorry guys. i'm really woke i swear. i agree with liberal values which is just basic human rights. i just express it in a republican way. it's my autism making me do this maybe..cause i never know of a time and place i guess!

back to what i was saying tho.. what do these old men think i fucking want to talk to them about? about me being a good girl who submits to them? cringy if u ask me... i actually talk about my special interests and shit. idk. 

either way im 19 im just a baby im just a kid!

anyways..fuck this rant..i don't like being negative. i'm not like that anymore. PEACE OUT RIANNA NATION!

CD'S OUT NOW

 HEY GUYS GOOD NEWS- FINALLY SELLING THE CD'S!

youtube video for it will be posted.

here is the link, AND THE ONLY OFFICIAL LINK https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/136742249219

check more photos for it here- https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1898870

1.11.25 - ANGEL NUMBER DAYYY!!!

 i previously said on my spacehey, (whiiiich you should totally check out https://spacehey.com/rimi ) that i love the angel number 111 or 1111 because of nicki's lyric where she says cause i won won won won angel numbers which is sooo clever.

here's photos i took today! i'll talk about today more below after the photos vv

okay well today the weather was really nice like it was raining for once without any sign of clouds right after? i am not sure..but it looked so beautiful at night. or well.. 4 pm because thats when it gets semi dark outside. but it was such a beautiful walk!!!! to the STOOOORE! and i got myself like... a lot of boxed food if that makes sense. like ready to go . like ready to heat up food and stuff. because ladies and gentlemen and nonbinarys, i was today years old when i found out im a terrible cook. and i keep cooking food from scratch. thinking i will save up on food. but you know what i do instead? i make the food and throw it away because it sucks each time. because im romanian i was taught from a young age how to cook from scratch its just the romanian thing to do i think or maybe im just cool. but no im not cool. i realized theres just some things i should NOT COOK AT ALL. and that its making me rethink all the times i made abominations in the kitchen and then pasta. mac and cheese? hell yeah. spaghetti? hell yeah. anything pasta related? hell yeah. burgers? fuck yeah. everything else? no...ok no thats an exaggeration- i do know how to cook but theres been recipes i have been trying that i am just not good at. i am really not good at cooking any sort of chicken i am sorry i just can't do it and i try so hard. i don't even wanna get into it cause wtaf. i've had the realisation that i am a bad cook several times in my life and i keep forgetting what i actually cooked to make me realize that which is for the better.

now..because i always cook everything from scratch. it just so happens that im always eating healthy foods, or fast foods made at home in a healthier way. but sometimes that shit is just so bad because i am such a bad cook. and bad baker too. fucking hell..... im just imagining all the times i had to throw food away. but its been two months since i started my second year of uni so!!!!.....i am at least doing better than last year. 

i was telling my friend i was super bad with spending money on food and he assumed i just ordered a lot of fast food and im like no i just buy a shit ton of ingredients and i dont eat it in time. or dont crave it anymore. because i had severe depression and physical problems so i wasn't even eating a damn thing. and that problem came back again just now and i am not even depressed or sad at all anymore. so then i'm thinking.... 

i always wanted a pumpkin pie. but i always buy butternut squash or pumpkins to bake and do shit from scratch but then im thinking..why don't i get kits. why don't i get stuff already made. why do i have to go through the hassle. i notice all my roommates don't cook five star course meals they do that once in a while and just eat efficient stuff like frozen food.

so my conclusion is- i never eat sugary stuff and that could be why im always losing my apetite and hate eating absolotuley anything at this point. and also i keep overcomplicating stuff and i need to tone it down.

anyways enough of my rant..i accomplished something today that i can't disclose. but CLAP FOR ME!! CAUSE I ACCOMPLISHED IT YESSSS!!!!

okay i'm sleepy now goodnight. idk what i even talked about. in summary im buying junk food on purpose. and i got cheeseballs because ive been watching a lot of alvin and the chipmunks movies, like way more than once. theyre so awesome. and alvin sings about eating cheeseballs so. i got some. and then they store waffles at some point for winter but dave tells them no dont do that so i got toaster waffles! ok goodbye! also do u like the christmas packaging on the custard can? ok bye bye.

p.S. i took photos of my groceries cause it looks like the most fun groceries i ever bought