YIPPIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

problems. every human has them right? yeah.

so we should be proud of ourselves to acknowledge those problems. why?

cause why is it that in this society we are programmed to treat others nicers than we treat ourselves. if you think about it, everyone is programmed like that. we dont care about ourselves anymore in this life and we are always having to give more to others.

we have to start treating ourselves like we are a second person. but its so damn hard. we are so far into the world to the point where we are programmed to not give a fuck about ourselves.

so let's acknowledge the problem.

first i gotta say that every day theres problems about us that we do not realize- like okay for me i kept trying to find what is the problem with me but i was still broken. so i dont know when i found out the actual problem, but i found it now and a cure.

a cure for what to solve my depression i had this whole year.

i think that i had a problem. one of many- that contributed to me not being myself at all- is  that i was blogging less and less. i dont know whos reading this but thank you if you are! this is just my diary. i feel like also i was so anxious to open up about anything but now im okay i can open up about how ive been feeling.

how was i feeling? depressed. but im getting better. ive been managing my mental health issues more. i am ready to finally..re enter life again and be happy. only positiveness.

i have realized i ponder too much about sad stuff like i dwell on it but then i told myself wait this is not helping me at all. id rather feel the pain of growth than pain of being stuck in the same cycle.

i'm getting better. im very happy. i like the feeling of happiness and i like taking care of myself.

i think the main problem of all is taking care of myself. 

it is my time to shine now into the world!

i know i matter. there is no use worrying there is use to enjoying life.

it matters to enjoy life. you all shall know! 

and remember to always protect your peace. i have a hard time doing that because i have not been educated enough on how cruel the world can be. people would take advantage of me because of my autism or just because they like to take advantage of people. 

but i am not a victim of the hate i am a survivor of the hate!

it makes no sense what i am talking about right now but i am getting more comfortable with being myself in this life and blogging a lot :) and actually socialising with people because i haven't in months , like consistently. 

what do weird people hate to see me do? good. i'm here. it's all here now. be prepared for everything that is gonna come your way because you'll feel annoyed BIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH! nobody is fucking with me anymore.

POSITIVE VIBES ONLY. 

i'm back to making content and taking care of myself! i'm discipline now! 

EVERYTHING GOES MY FKING WAY!

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO!

I DO NOT LET MENTAL HEALTH OR OTHER PEOPLE MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!

what else was i gonna say....oh yeah... IM BACK! *eminem voice

i have a brain again , i can think again, i am all okay.

some tips for me and for others who are smart enough to listen:

always invest in yourself ONLY. MORE THAN ANY RANDOM PERSON YOU MET A MONTH AGO.

always invest in your family and the friends you KNOW are real. 

how do you know theyre real? youve been friends for legit so long, almost a year at least- and you have never doubted them. you guys never fought. you guys are soulmates and they only make you feel better about yourself.

if after talking to somebody you dont feel like'damn im improved as a person' then theyre not a true friend.

always talk kindly to yourself even if you fucking hate it so much. yes i hated being nice to myself. but you have to work every day on doing that. its so easy to even if it feels fake. you fake it until you make it.

do go outside often even if you have a hard time just take a walk right after you wake up.

NOW-- there are more tips but there is something i want to highlight.

sadly you have to feel the pain for such a long time in order to have your 'that's it i am done' moment.

cause i couldve done so many things to heal myself but i was too depressed to even get out of bed. or even be awake. i did fucking nothing...

but the little things you have to do is always protect your peace.

people heal in different ways but thank fucking god i am healed now! cause the reason i ended up so depressed is because i was trying to heal other people and they wiped their ass with my kindness

ALWAYS PROTECT YOUR PEACE THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE ENERGY VAMPIRES

always do you you only live once YOLO like drake said

but now that im actually healed i can enjoy life again.

i don't wanna sit here and write a whole book on how i healed, so i'm going to move on with my life and only focus on myself, friends, family, fans, and my career.

ALL OF YOU LOVELY PEOPLE HOLD ME TOGETHER!!!!

do not give your power away to other people.

life is for you to enjoy. and also i realized my OCD has taken such advantage of me... will not let it do that no more.

i love blogging so much :D i love you all! :DD I M SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF YOU WHO LISTEN TO MY MUSIC AND READ THIS AND CARE ABOUT ME.

BYE BYEEEE!