get my life back together!

ughhhhhhhhhh. hey blog. hey hey hey. it is 2 am rn. ok no. 3. i made some blogs, i forgot what days i made them on, but this will be shown up as my most recent blog as ill edit my other blogs i never posted, as in ill edit them to look like they were posted on the days they were made- yes i am guilty of overwriting and still never finishing. why do i even blog? why is anyone even interested...

no. i sound like a pussy. i should blog cause i fucking want to!

updates?? ermmmm im moving out very soon. not excited. but ill have a cool room. ill move out every year at this point so ill decorate my room with new stuff...

but here is an apology...ive fallen victim to social media and oversharing more than ever.

fuck. its 4 am. i just spent an hour on twitter. where does the time go. anyways. i fully deleted all my social media. but i keep downloading it again. so im just thinking i need to either stop using any devices or just disipline myself.

ughhhh. i got a lot of things to do.

fuck my stupid life. i keep having things on my mind i wanna blog about, but i keep forgetting, because they all come at once to my brain then leave and when they do come, im not even on my computer to blog.

well. ok.well. i need to promote my music. but i feel like its cringy. cringe cringe bad to do so.

im not even a celebrity, and my website looks like a celebrity's.

i hate my life. im meant to move out soon, but i do nothing but tweet. well well well. i'd rather it was blogging. 

it feels like everyone around me is getting started with their careers and everything, everyone around me is doing good, but im not. my album has been out for almost a year and ive not promoted it obviously because i have school, i had a really hard school year, im glad it wasnt 'the worst year of my life' though. but it's like... i had all summer to do stuff. don't get me wrong, i did A LOT OF THINGS THIS SUMMER ALL BY MYSELF WITHOUT A TEAM to promote my album, just haven't uploaded it. so i guess that's good. maybe im just shy.

you know, i'm always confident but it's been drained out. but you know what helps? nicki minaj. she's the reason i am so confident today...any time i am shy to post something related to my music, i remember what she says... i went to her concert and she said some words of wisdom, kind of like 'don't be the person who regrets not doing that one thing because it could've changed your life'. and plus, every celebrity started out small. i'm here to better everything.

okay okay- i promise tomorrow i'll post my interview. my first ever one... I AM SO EXCITED....I WILL ACTUALLY DO THAT..... i am getting that little motivation.

i know i'm really scared to look at myself and how i talk in this interview, i know i come off as an asshole but truly, i'm scared. i'm actually putting myself out there in the world. i'll just ignore what people say i guess.

i feel that i DO look and talk a little stupid, doesn't really show off who i am, but that's totally okay- ugh, i wish i had a team to edit these videos for me so i don't have to look at them. i just feel like, stupid. it was my first ever interview of course i was shy! but i just- dont dont DONT like looking at my face in that moment. i was so damn awkward. i feel i was...........tooo....extra......hmmmmm....

okay, i gotta get my shit together. ARGH. okay.  

but i swear, im getting my life together from this moment on- 4:03 AM. I AM GETTING MY LIFE TOGETHER!

anyways, goodnight people.

p.s. am i allowed to make a lot of labels or should i just not label anything and people just search a keyword? thank you very much.